LET’S COOK: ONIGIRI STYLE SANDWICHES
Sometimes you find yourself naked in the backyard next to a chicken while watching TikToks. Look, it was hot and she needs to get used to people. It wasn’t weird. Anyway, this video came on and it gave me an idea: to copy it. Let’s make an onigiri-style sandwich using rice as bread and bind it in a sheet of sushi nori.
But what should we use for our protein? What would be odd to put into a Japanese sandwich? Let’s do Spam! I know some people hate Spam and say it’s gross. They also eat hot dogs. Besides, it helped a generation punch Nazis and that’s good enough for me.
I sliced the Spam edges off and marinated it in teriyaki sauce because nothing says authentic Japanese like teriyaki Spam. Now, fry it up.
Next, go outside and gather eggs, realize the chicken isn’t laying eggs yet, go back inside and get an egg out of the fridge. Now, cook that fertilized miniature dinosaur embryo to prove your evolutionary superiority. If you have a cool Japanese omelette pan like me – use it.
Finally, sandwich the egg and spam with a bit of fresh rice. Layer all this on a sheet of sushi nori and fold it up. Ideally, do it more elegantly than I did, but where I fail at elegance I make up for it in flavor.
Enjoy!