LET’S TALK: SHOULD SMUT BE ETHICAL?

An earlier version of this article was published on Tumblr in April, 2021.

Let’s get something out of the way: I write smut. I’ve been described as someone who writes romance for perverts, but I don’t do that all of the time. Sometimes I just write smut and smut isn’t well known for being ‘woke’ or setting a high bar either ethically or morally. And I don’t want it to.

I am firmly of the belief that no one can help what their kinks are. Fantasy should exist as an outlet. However, the truth is that writing can influence people. Terrifyingly, there are people who serve in positions of power that have difficulty separating fantasy from reality.

Something I saw on Twitter got me thinking about this. Screenshots were posted that appeared to be by someone in the ASMR community who went by the name Emerald Rift. They were saying that those interested in erotic chat, of any age, were welcome in the NSFW chat on their server.

The screenshots from their Discord showed them writing:

“I do not care about age. If you think you’re ready for the NSFW chat then go for it.”

I don’t have to search out the discussions about this to tell you that there are people who defend this point of view. Their arguments fit into a series of predictable patterns. They will say that kids will find it anyway, that a fantasy is better than for them to be meeting up with people online, and so on. The problems with these arguments are vast. I’m not going to break them down here but may at some future point.

There is, however, one point that I do want to highlight: the argument that kids will seek out age-inappropriate material anyway. This is true, but as a defense, it supposes that the goal of making materials forbidden is to make them completely inaccessible. That is incorrect.

The goal is to limit the flood of material minors would otherwise access to a trickle, but I would argue that there is a second, equally important goal. Yes, those underage will seek out porn, and they will find it. I did as a child. However, I also understood that I wasn’t supposed to. I understood that I was a child reading and looking at things that weren’t for me. That is a critical difference.

I enjoyed reading 19th-century erotic novels, finding thrown-away porn magazines, and sneaking VHS tapes of classic titles like New Wave Hookers and Public Affairs. The knowledge that those things weren’t meant for me made me understand that as much as I enjoyed them, that world of adult sexuality, wasn’t for me until I was older and those years allowed me to learn before I became a sexual adult. Yes, porn is far more accessible to children now than it was to my generation, but this is a distinction that still needs to be maintained to give them a childhood.

When you invite children into an NSFW chat you are literally tearing those walls down. You are inviting them into the world they are unprepared for and you are facilitating a space for groomers.

Is the age of 18 arbitrary? Sure. The reality is that there are those who are fully mature and ready to make life decisions at the age of sixteen, and there are others who are not ready at twenty-four. Still, we need to draw a neutral line somewhere and this is the one that, at least in the United States, we have chosen. Mostly. Age of consent laws here are almost random and vary from state to state.

Someone else, on an unrelated matter, summed it up well I thought. These are from a cosplayer who goes by OMGCosplay and occasionally, Maggie. On her non-cosplay account @OMGbutworse she writes:

“Repeatedly asking minors to make an OnlyFans when they turn 18 is grooming. You can’t change my mind.”

“Women taking ownership of their bodies and making the informed choice to enter sex work = 👍. Men aggressively grooming minors into entering sex work because they want to see their teenage bodies = 🤮.”

I wish I could give her a high five.

Does erotica have a responsibility to avoid those under eighteen and those topics? I’m not going to claim I have the right to make that decision for anyone else, but I will say that topics that involve sex with minors and grooming need to be kept as far away from minors as possible and in contexts that avoid normalizing them for anyone. To be blunt, I find these issues uncomfortable even in erotica. And the younger the characters get, the more uncomfortable I feel.

I won’t say I don’t use the grey area – I explore relationships in my serial The Pool Girl with characters who are almost eighteen, but not quite (by weeks) in a place where seventeen is of legal consent. Their dynamic is not one of Rob, the male main character, being a predator or groomer. Not at all. In fact, many readers have pointed out that the girls are kick-ass, smart, powerful, and confident women. That was intentional, though they have emotional flaws just as the male protagonist does.

Am I defending myself? Sure. I told you I write smut, didn’t I? I also have written stories between older characters, between lesbians in their 20s, and more stuff still in my head. But, I am self-aware of what I’m writing and that is what I hope every erotica writer aims to be.

Don’t hide behind the argument that “it’s just a story.” Stories can be powerful. I’m not going to argue for censorship or the cancelling of erotica writers I find uncomfortable. But I do hope that every writer takes a hard look at their own writing and thinks about what they want to add to the world.

//Leto